The Same
by GracieLooWho
Summary: Seamus and Dean have been best friends forever, but, they both want more, they have never told each other their secrets... little do they know that their secrets are the same. ONESHOT! review and enjoy :


The room was quiet; the darkness was only interrupted by a sliver of moonlight that shone through the crack in the scarlet drapes. The four poster beds were placed carefully around the circular room with trunks at the end of each, contents disheveled and scattered on the floor. The wind could be heard past the brick walls all throughout the castle yet the inhabitants slept on, dreaming, about the new Christmas that was soon to come. Everyone except one; Seamus Finnegan lay awake, not wanting to fall asleep… for if he fell asleep he would dream, and if he dreamt it would only be of that sweet thing that he could never have.

…'why?'… He would ask himself this question all the time. Why his best friend? Why did he have to love someone who would never love him back? This path would lead nowhere; it would never get the chance to start…

Seamus wouldn't let himself fall asleep. He lay awake looking at the ceiling of his four poster bed…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dean was a morning person. His clock read 4:47 am. The other boys were still asleep, he assumed, as they always were at this time. He stood up slowly, not wanting to wake the others, and tiptoed across the wood floors towards the door. He winced every time he made a creak in the floorboards… he stepped on a sharp object, he couldn't see a thing for it was still dark out, and bit down on his lip so as to stifle his grunt of pain.

He felt around for his wand and found it lying in some random spot on the floor, he picked it up while inwardly cursing himself for leaving it lying around.

He sensed someone behind him and jolted around, his heart beating faster than normal when his eyes lay on a silhouette.

"Seamus?"

"Y-yeah, sorry I startled you," his Irish accent shone through his words, Dean loved to listen.

"It's ok… but why are you up so early?"

Seamus didn't answer right away, after a long pause he whispered slowly, "Actually I've been up all night."

"Oh… I see… well why?" Dean was slightly confused.

"Because," Seamus seemed to be contemplating something, "I was scared to fall asleep."

Dean hadn't paid attention to what Seamus had whispered because at that same moment there was a loud snore coming from Ron's direction.

"Maybe we should go down to the common room."

"…Yeah."

As the best friends walked downstairs Dean started to feel a bit awkward; something was up with Seamus that made him feel uneasy. Did he know what feelings he had for him? 'No, how could he? I've never made it even a bit obvious…' Dean thought to himself; half of him feeling confident in this fact and half of him feeling disheartened. He didn't want to jeopardize the friendship they'd had for six years…

He let his mind wander as they descended the spiral staircase.

Seamus walked behind Dean in silence; his thoughts carrying him away from the here and now. His hand trailed along the wall; he watched as his fingertips lightly ran over the bumps in the brick walls. He liked the sensation that the light touch produced. He was staring at his hand until he ran into Dean who had stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"Oh s-sorry," Seamus stuttered, his attention turned to the beautiful common room. This room was his favorite room in the castle; there were so many memories…especially with Dean. He slowly walked over to the window that spanned the whole height of the wall…this was his favorite spot in the whole _world_. He gazed out over the grounds; it was lightly snowing, the thick blanket of white that covered every inch of the outside world sparkled in the moonlight.

Seamus dared a quick look over his shoulder at the boy he secretly loved…

Dean stared at Seamus as he stood by the window, he knew this was Seamus's favorite spot; he always seemed to wander over there whenever it was clear of people and just…stare. He glanced away at the dimming embers that glowed in the fire. The spiral rug sat crooked, he noticed, as he walked over to the comfy love seat. He let his body slump down and relax.

"So why are you up so early, Seamus?" He asked again. Seamus turned around and started walking towards the couch,

"Oh, um, I was afr-… I just couldn't sleep," he seemed to change his mind of what to say in the middle of his sentence. Dean noticed; a little annoyed.

"Oh, so there was no _other_ reason?" Dean asked a little too nonchalantly, he wanted to know why Seamus was acting so reserved.

"No," Seamus replied, a little defensively.

"You're lying," Dean couldn't stop himself before he blurted it out. Seamus moved his gaze to the floor, then to the window again…

The silence that filled the room was deafening. Dean didn't take his eyes off Seamus; Seamus didn't take his eyes off the window. The silence carried on for what seemed like forever, Dean was growing impatient.

Seamus could tell that Dean was getting annoyed, they were so different… Seamus was very patient and caring while Dean was stubborn and could never wait too long without getting frustrated.

Seamus smiled to himself; it wasn't a happy smile… it was cynical. He jerked his head around and stared unblinkingly at Dean,

"Fine… I was up all night because I was afraid to fall asleep," Seamus said it as if it was Dean's fault, "I was afraid to dream, if I dream, I dream of things I can't have and I don't like it."

Dean looked at him a bit angrily still and said mockingly, "that's a bit stupid."

Seamus got up and walked towards the window again, just to get farther away from the tension; he didn't like that either. Dean got up and followed him close behind.

Seamus stopped; Dean stopped a few steps behind and they stood in silence for a while.

Dean wasn't angry. Seamus wasn't angry. They were both just… scared. They didn't know that what they felt was exactly the same.

"Seamus… I-I didn't mean it," Dean reached out his hand and lightly brushed his fingertips over Deans shoulder.

"I know," the moonlight through the window showed bright over Seamus's handsome, calm features.

Dean didn't stop to think before he pulled Seamus around and covered his lips with his own. Seamus didn't stop to think before he pushed Dean back towards the couch. They both didn't think; they just did.

Their kiss was hard and demanding; as if they had been holding it back for way too long. They toppled down onto the couch; the fall broke their lips apart. Seamus rolled on top of Dean. They stared at each other for a time; wondering how they had gotten here so fast, without warning. Dean smiled smugly up at Seamus and sat up, propped by his elbows; Seamus's knees were on either side of Dean's hips, his arms were wrapped around Dean's dark neck for support.

"What's happening?" Seamus breathed.

Dean reached around Seamus's neck and pulled him close so his lips were right by Seamus's ear. He whispered in a breathy voice,

"I have no fucking clue."

Seamus laughed, his heart rate calming a little. He noticed, then, that the way Dean had talked to him so… seductively, had really turned him on, making his heart beat faster than ever.

There was a pause until, "Who cares?" Seamus said before he captured Dean's lips again and moaned in pleasure when the man under him deepened the kiss even more by introducing the use of tongue.

Every inch of Seamus screamed with pleasure as Dean broke away from his lips and worked at the sensitive areas of his neck; Kissing, nipping, licking, and his personal favorite, sucking. At some point in their haze Dean had started exploring Seamus with his hands. One hand was holding the back of Seamus's neck, caressing it, while the other was unbuttoning his shirt; each button was taking an excruciating amount of time to comply with their growing need. Seamus broke away for a second and straddled Dean's lap, both of their erections were quite noticeable at this point, and ripped off his shirt; buttons soared.

"You just broke you're shirt," Dean stated matter-oh-factly, his eyes were glazed over and unfocused with lust; he couldn't tear his gaze away from Seamus's toned chest even if his life depended on it.

"No kidding," Seamus breathed, not really hearing what was said, and proceeded to take off the offensive article that covered up Dean's dark torso. Seamus grew impatient, which is quite out of character, when the shirt wouldn't come off.

"I hate these God- damned things," he said rather frantically, and he ripped the last three buttons apart.

Now that that time consuming delay was solved Seamus leaned over Dean and brushed over his lips, then his neck, then to his chest. He moved his mouth over Dean's hardening nipple and his hand groped at the growing bulge in Dean's pajama bottoms; causing Dean to throw back his head and moan loudly with pleasure. Seamus loved that noise; he wanted to hear it over and over and over again; so he made it happen…

Dean and Seamus walked into the great hall. They had not told anyone about what had happened one week previous, or the fact that ever since then they'd been spending almost every possible moment in the room of requirement.

Dean's hand was itching to grab hold of Seamus's as they walked along the crowded Gryffindor table and took a seat.

After lunch they would have to split apart for the two week Christmas break and wouldn't even get the chance to kiss each other goodbye. Dean was angry at the fact that Seamus had insisted on keeping their relationship a secret. What the fuck does he care what a few homophobes think? He would kiss Seamus right then and there just for the hell of it if he wasn't so respectful of his boyfriend….his boyfriend…he liked the sound of that.

The train stopped at Kings Cross station. Students started bustling quickly out of the compartments to start their Christmas vacation.

The platform was extremely crowded; kids and relatives greeted each other everywhere and couples were saying their goodbyes. Dean watched as a 5th year boy and girl kissed each other passionately… he scowled; he glanced over at Seamus who looked quite happy for some reason. The whole ride there he had been acting oddly excited, and Dean doubted it was the fact that he was gonna see his family; he always complained about how embarrassing they were.

Seamus stopped suddenly; the people around them took no notice in the two young men.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked offhand.

"Well I see my parents over there…I'm gonna have to leave soon."

Dean couldn't help but be disappointed in the lack of affection,

"Yeah so 'bye then," he turned to leave but felt Seamus's hand wrap around his upper arm and spin him around, Seamus may be smaller but he was pretty strong.

"What do you wa-"

The sentence was detached into nothingness as Seamus wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and drew him in close. They stood for a few seconds just looking into the other's eyes; Dean snaked his hands around Seamus's waist and smiled, "What are you doing?"

"Look up."

Dean glanced up and saw a mistletoe hanging above them, "wher-?"

Seamus enveloped Dean's lips in a passionate kissed that seemed to last forever, but not nearly long enough. They broke apart and Dean pressed his forehead against Seamus's; they stared lovingly at each other for a long time whispering to each other,

"How're you gonna explain this one to your parents?" Dean asked seriously.

Seamus laughed and shrugged, "beats me."

Seamus snaked his hands down and grabbed hold of Dean's hands reassuringly.

"Merry Christmas, love," Seamus whispered.

"Merry Christmas."

Seamus brushed his lips against Deans and inhaled deeply the scent that was his best friend and his lover. He turned away, not caring about all the stares he was getting from the people that had witnessed this event.

He walked up to his parent and found them staring at him with shocked, dumbfounded expressions.

"Don't bother with presents this year, I already have everything I could possibly need."


End file.
